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Midwestern

by Alomar

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1.
Sittin' round my room, staring at my phone. I've never felt so drunk and alone, inside of an empty house. Inside of an empty house. Sittin' round town, watching all the people. I've never felt so cold and feeble, inside of a crowded street. Inside of a crowded street. Sittin' round the diner, staring at my phone. I've never felt so angry and alone, inside of the restaurant. Inside of the restaurant. Sittin' round my parents, answering some questions. Holding all the things inside I'm too afraid to mention. Inside of my racing mind, inside of my racing mind. Sittin' round the show, staring at my phone. Even when I'm with my friends, I still feel alone. Inside of a crowded house, the beer, the drugs, please take me out. Sittin' round my house again, staring at my phone. Now, I'm even more drunk and alone. Inside of an empty house, inside of this big empty house.
2.
Choked up, I'm a terrible liar. Coming up, my body closed down. Torn up and torn out of my dreams is what I sang when I was 19. What's the hold up? Can you feel the clutter of your actions infect my brain? The volumes up, but the picture is blurry with the glasses that you gave me that day. I want to be a respectable, reliable, responsible young man. I'll probably be a cynical, regretful, desperate old man. Taken down, you really got me with that one. Cheer up, you've already seen the lowest point. Brought back to my standard pace of living, I'm exactly on schedule again. It's exciting that you graduated! I think I'll graduate to another five bedroom, run down old house. Severely overrated, I'm feeling worse about myself with every heartbeat on the couch. I want to be a respectable, reliable, responsible young man. I'll probably be a cynical, regretful, desperate old man.
3.
I recall the spinning that went on in my head, in my bed, as I regret to say, I'm not sure I can do this anymore. For I am just the grin you gave a stranger on the bus. I am just the trigger on the gun that never was. I am safe here. So I'm not going anywhere tonight. Told a joke, had a smoke. We drank the night away. When I asked how he was doin', he said "I guess I'm the same. I'm the same, I'm the same and I'm never gonna change." It's like when you spilled coffee on the book, your favorite page. For I am just the grin you gave a stranger on the bus. I am just the trigger on the gun that never was. I am safe here. So I'm not going anywhere tonight. Liked a lot, loved a little. You told me life's a game. And if you had to force it on me, I would be the same. I'm the same, I'm the same and I'm never gonna change It's like your life's a detailed novel, a dog in a cage. For I am just the grin you gave a stranger on the bus. I am just the trigger on the gun that never was. I am safe here. So I'm not going anywhere tonight.
4.
I never thought I'd taste anything sweeter than this fruit, but if I recall correctly, that's before I tasted you. You're the type of person that makes me feel bad about myself. And I'm the type of person that's concerned about their health. And I know I'm wasting away again. I know I'm wasting all my time on you again. Oh no, I'm wasted on a Monday again. I know I'll be better tomorrow once again. I never thought I could erase the memories so fast. I guess that being 21 will now forever last. I guess that you could say that I'm afraid of growing up, and I guess that lines a cliché but who cares, I'm throwing up. And I know I'm wasting away again. I know I'm wasting all my time on you again. Oh no, I'm wasted on a Monday again. I know I'll be better tomorrow once again.
5.
You begged me for forgiveness, you said, "I miss you, I swear it's the last time" Your cold skin, your weakness. And don't think that I didn't notice your eyes have lost their shine. I remember when they reflected in the sky. The shape of your smile that night. Just don't think I forgot you before getting on the bus. Befriending to the fullest but forgetting about us. Just don't think I forgot you that day. You begged me for forgiveness. You said that this time is really the last time. Your hot tempered awareness, your colder skin, it's harder to see that your eyes have lost their shine. I remember when they glistened so bright. The shape of your smile that night. Just don't think I forgot you before getting on the bus. Befriending to the fullest but forgetting about us. Just don't think I forgot you that day. You begged me for forgiveness. But this time it was later than last time. Your short breath, in fairness, your self aware it's 5 in the morning. And holy shit, do I miss that twinkle in your eye.
6.
All I ever do is work all the time, but I don't mind. It keeps me busy, erases the sad thoughts from my mind. I told you that things were bad, didn't I? You told me you're holy, but you've got that evil side. Your beauty, it stole me and I found myself in the meantime. Oh heaven above me, oh how could you do this to me? And oh Hell below me, I can't wait to come home and sing. All I ever do is cry all the time, but I get by. I guess the tears can wash away the pain in my eyes. I told you that things were the worst, didn't I? You told me you're holy, but you've got that evil side. Your beauty, it stole me and I found myself in the meantime. Oh heaven above me, oh how could you do this to me? And oh Hell below me, I can't wait to come home and sing. All I ever do is lie all the time, my true colors shine in hopes that maybe I can change your mind. I told you that I was the worst, didn't I? I told you that I couldn't breathe, didn't I?
7.

about

'Midwestern' was recorded over the course of a year by Corey Grau in Kent, Ohio.

Album artwork by Brian Barr

All songs written by Eddie Gancos


Eddie Gancos - Vocals / Guitar
Max Adams - Violin

Physical copies coming soon.

credits

released October 26, 2016

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all rights reserved

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Alomar Akron, Ohio

Sad, simple songs about life situations

Now on Spotify and Apple Music.

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